The Celebrity of Having Twins and Actually Leaving the House

My twins are almost 3 years old and their sister is 6. So you would think that I would be accustomed to the questions, looks, and whispers; but I am not. I keep thinking that my next trip out into the real world will be "normal". I think "normal" left the day we found out I was having two babies. It might have left before that, I just didn't notice until we were buying a bigger car, trying to figure out what to do with a large purchase designed for a family of four, and explaining what "twins" means to an almost 3 year old.

Some days I want to wear a sign that answers all of the usual, mostly stupid questions. Other days, I want to where a sign that addresses the following:

1. Do you really think it's any of your business?
2. Do I look like I have time for you to stand in front of my grocery cart and debate their "identical-ness" with me?
3. Why do you get to say that three children is "a lot"?
4. No, your children that are 23 1/2 months apart are not "just like having twins". They are 2 YEARS apart.
5. "Double Trouble" is a rather rude thing to say.
6. "Boy, you have your hands full, ha ha" Ya, think?
7. I don't care that your best friends' neighbors' sister-in-law's cousins' great aunt had twins.
8. Their birth story is only told to close friends/family.
9. Neither is the "bad one". They are equally "all boy".
10. Yes, I work...ALL DAY LONG.

So, if you were the people I ran into yesterday while running errands, please don't stop me or the next mother of multiples you meet. We really are on a time schedule. We must get home before our "polite faces" melt.

(Can you tell what kind of a week I've had? Thank you to all of those who smile and keep on walking. My mom, mother-in-law and sisters are happy to take your questions on my behalf. And, now that I think of it, I'm happy to field most of the questions when I have time.)